Friday, January 23, 2015

A teaser of things to come

If you read the blog I posted earlier for Ms J, you can relax.  I feel better now.  I worked out all my issues by using my words and my head is back to where it needs to be.  Mostly.

I'm tired and I have a lot on my mind.  

I'm going to keep this short because, while I want to write, I don't want to write it all here.  I have a couple characters that I need to delve into and see what's got them in knots.  I may have mentioned that I have many projects going on at once.  It's more true now than ever before.

And I switched from listening to Incubus tonight to this:

So I'll give you a glimpse, a tease of what's in my mind.  The smallest little bit of a story that has every intention of ripping out my heart and showing me what it was made to do this whole time.

Sometimes the words are harder to find than at other times.  Occasionally my feelings get in the way of the declaration.  It comes out all garbled and messy and entirely too transparent.  The anger is easier to deal with, it's focused and burns like a fire.  I know where it's going and I sure as hell know where it's been. 

Even in my show-and-tell, I hardly show.  And I never tell.  Self-preservation and all that.

I'm sorry.  I wanted to stay, and I suppose most of me will.  I just can't stay and watch you try to get Venus to revolve around Jupiter.  That might not make sense to you now, hopefully it will someday.

I'm sorry I can only tell you how I feel in code.  I'm sorry I couldn't keep my own promises.  I'm sorry I can only leave my heart with you.  I know it doesn't seem like much, since it's so quiet in your grip.  But it's the only thing of worth I had on me anyway.  Keep it, it always brought me a fair amount of luck.

It's winter in Wyoming.  It's time for me to head south.