Sunday, January 10, 2016

Dear Tacos (a parody poem and heartfelt goodbye)

Right after Thanksgiving and just before Christmas, I found out I'm gluten and lactose intolerant.  YAY!  Super fun! *snort* 

I've slowly been coming to terms with what this means for me for the rest of my life.  As someone who's entire life revolves around pizza, it's been a heart breaking acceptance.  And before you think I'm exaggerating about the pizza being my entire life thing, I will remind you, we served pizza to our 200 wedding guests dressed in lovely evening wear before our wedding.

I keep thinking that I wish I would have known the last time I had pizza that it was the last time. 

It's not all that horrible.  There are some truly amazing substitutes out there.  

But let's be real, it's not the same.

I prefer using humor to help me deal with new developments in my life.  It helps to be able to laugh about the tough stuff.  And laugh, and laugh, and laugh...

But tacos, man.  Tacos.  I love tacos.  And pizza, obviously.  But tacos.  Tacos are my one true food love.  I would marry tacos if I could.  I could show tacos a good time.  All of my noms are taco related. 

And I have to say goodbye to tacos as I know them.

 So I've decided to write a parody farewell poem based off of Kobe Bryant's farewell to basketball.  Because hilarious, that's why.  (Kobe's original poem can be found here.)

 Dear Tacos,

 From the moment
I started building my own soft-shells
And adding loads of cheese
with fresh green bells
And layering in extras
I knew one thing was real:

I fell in love with you.

A love so deep I gave you my all —
From my mind & body
To my spirit & soul.

As a six-year-old girl
Deeply in love with you
I never saw the end of the burrito.
I only saw myself
Eating another one.

And so I ate.
I ate any and every taco
After every one I wanted more.
You asked for my appetite
I gave you my heart
Because it came with so much more.

I ate all the variations and versions
Not because challenge called me
But because YOU called me.
I did everything for YOU
Because that’s what you do
When someone makes you feel as
Alive as you’ve made me feel.

You gave a six-year-old girl her taco dream
And I’ll always love you for it.
But I can’t love you obsessively anymore.
This fall was all I had left to give.
My heart can take the pounding
My mind can handle the grind
But my body knows it’s time to say goodbye.

And that’s OK.
I’m ready to let you go.
I want you to know now
So we both can savor every moment we had together.
The good and the bad.
We had given each other
All that we had.

And we both know, no matter what I do next
I’ll always be that girl
With the cheese laden tortilla
and the happy, happy smile
all of the sour cream
taco in my hands
one... more... bite...

Love you always,